So there I was: tired from a life of working, hustling and being the sole care provider of my 10 month old. Laying down, baby on my breast, mindlessly going through some posts on Instagram when I found myself being envious of someone whose 1 minute posts left me feeling like they had their life put together, smooth like a well oiled machine while I was still, 10 months later, trying to figure out my rhythm, my new energy, my reality and all its juggling as the mother of a soon to be toddler.
As I started to feel bad about myself, I gave myself a time out. “Come on. You know better than this!” What is Instagram, none other than someone’s highlights? What do you know about the struggles and frustrations of that person?
The crazy thing is, I know this in my brain. I talk about this with other mothers. About the perils of comparison, of seeing the highlights and comparing them to our daily life.
We are all different. Our life situations are different. One body recovers faster than the other. One mother may suffer from post partum depression, while the other may have some physical issues you know nothing about. All you really know is what is going on with you. And even then it i so easy to get caught up comparing ourselves to our former (no kids) self. Believe me, I know. It gets even harder when the comments of others express direct or indirectly that they have expectations for you.
Honestly, what is the adde value of comparison? I remember reading somewhere that we suffer when we fight what is. Instead of navigating the waters, we paddle like heck to try and go in the other direction.
Anyone who has ever sailed, rowed or paddled will tell you that trying to fight the water to get back upstream is mostly a lost cause that will leave you exhausted and worst off for even trying.
So this is for the new moms out there, this is for me. For when you and I get caught yet again comparing our circumstances or feelings to those of others.
Be kind to yourself, we are all in our own journeys.
Love what is and do the best you can.